FADE IN

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INT. BAR - NIGHT 

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A couple sits at a bar, chatting. They don’t seem to know each other well. 

 

ZACH 

(nervously)  

Wow, Cara, it is just so great to see you again. You look amazing. 

 

CARA 

(disgusted) 

Yeah... it’s, uh, nice to see you too. 

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ZACH 

Listen, I know last weekend was a shit show and I just wanted to say— 

Cara puts her hands up, cutting him off. 

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CARA 

Look, I’ve had a really bad day. I’m only here because you said, and somehow successfully combined, my two favorite words: free and drinks.  

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Cara grabs Zach’s drink and starts chugging it until she  finishes it completely. The Bartender approaches the  couple as Zach looks defeated. 

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BARTENDER  

(over-enthusiastically)  

So, folks, what can I get you? Can I interest you in our new drink, the Ball Buster? Or have YOU had enough of that already tonight? Ha, am I right, man? 

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Cara ignores the Bartender.  

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CARA  

I’ll have a dirty martini, up with... Do you have bleu cheese stuffed olives? 

She looks at Zach and then back at the Bartender, who is still smiling over-enthusiastically as if he is hanging onto her every word.

 

CARA  

(annoyed) 

Of course you don’t. Just the martini. Like I said, up with olives. And make it with Stolichnaya.

 

The bartender hurries off, forgetting to even take Zach’s  order. Cara is texting on her phone, completely uninterested. It keeps vibrating over and over. She laughs loudly.  

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ZACH 

So Cara, back to what I was saying... I just want you to know that I’m sorry for how things went down last weekend.  

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CARA  

You mean when you completely blacked out, made out with a stranger and pissed your pants at the Fountain? I sent the video to all my friends soooo…

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Cara’s phone continues vibrating and she opens it up and  keeps laughing. 

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CARA  

Wait... what were we talking about?  

The Bartender returns with her drink. It’s purple in color. His hands are shaking as he sets it down. Cara’s mouth falls wide open. She slams her phone down on the table.  

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CARA  

I’m sorry. What the fuck is this?  

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ZACH  

Oh god, Cara, don’t. Please.  

 

Cara puts her hand up.

 

CARA  

No. I’m serious. What. The. Fuck.    

 

BARTENDER 

(nervously)  

Uhhh, ma’am it’s a martini with olives.  

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CARA  

(mocking him)   

“Uh, it’s a martini with olives.” Are you trying to be funny or are you just some kind of a fucking idiot?

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BARTENDER  

Well, I—  

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CARA  

(losing it) 

That was rhetorical. This martini has black olives in it. Holy shit. I need to speak to the manager.

 

BARTENDER  

Ma’am. Please. This is my last warning. If he has to come out here, I’m fired and I really need this job. 

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 CARA  

I don’t give an actual fuck about your job, you psychopath. You put black olives in a martini. Obviously it’s time for a career change, Brian Flanagan. 

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ZACH  

Jesus Christ, Cara. What are you doing? 

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Cara leans in over the bar and begins speaking through her teeth.  

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CARA  

Go. Get. Your. Fucking. Manager. 

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The Bartender stands for a moment, weighing his options, before jumping over the bar and making a run for it out the front door. As he runs out the front door, he is immediately struck by a car. All of the restaurant guests are aghast. An old woman faints. Cara chugs the black olive martini and slams the glass down on the bar. 

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CARA  

Serves that monster right. Olive for this shit.  

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FADE OUT